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♥ precious.
la bella vita;

Cara

loves: black and white photography. poetry. vintage stores. thunderstorms. good ambience. fairytales. disneyworld. black kohl and fuschia lipstick. red and purple skittles. turquoise beads. icing but not cakes. might-have-beens. the dandy warhols. within temptation. automatic loveletter. mediaeval baebes. troy. interview with a vampire. the oc. making 11:11 wishes. purple glitter. mermaids. my-little-ponies. magic.

expertise: melodramaticks. eyeliner. laughing. goodbyes. hanging in there.

♥ music on, world off.
shh.

soundtrack to life.

♥ scream(?).
live.

♥ past .
instant time travel

December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010

♥ adieu .
set them free

AMANDA
ANDRE
ASH
DEB
ELEMM
07IP04!
08IP04!
JOSH
KAT
LISA
QIU
RENJEAN


♥ credits .
thankyouverymuch

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Sunday, March 2, 2008
hello, old friend. 1:48 AM

and the shadow of your smile will linger;
it will linger, linger, longer
-----

Okay.
I'm finally blogging in words again-- so no complaints, please.

I was ABOUT to type out some happy zippydeedoodah post-- buuut then I happened to sign into my old email account, and read through a coupluv old emails. Aaaand I found out a few things I hadn't realized, when I first read those messages.
Biiiig mistake, Cara.
Why d'you always have t'go and put your foot in things?!

it kills me how I cannot- have never been able to- get over this.
it frustrates me no end how it haunts me like this-- I am certain it was never meant to be like this.

and even now the guilt remains
even now the guilt remains

if the world was going to end, the phonebooths would be crammed with people dialling home to say "i love you" and "i'm sorry" and "i miss you"
and I would be standing outside with a phonecard with my eyes on heaven.

I wish I could dial some kind of celestial phone number,
sob "I am so sorry" into the other line
just before the world shifts and shatters into a million million little pieces
of flying fragments and telephone numbers left in the washing machine

I wish I could take every word back.

hanging upside down from a tree and laughing,
I remember;

show me you're as real as he tells me you are.
show me you're still near.
show me you've forgiven me.



are you watching over me
from where you are?