Sunday, March 2, 2008
hello, old friend.
1:48 AM
and the shadow of your smile will linger;
it will linger, linger, longer
-----
Okay.
I'm finally blogging in words again-- so no complaints, please.
I was ABOUT to type out some happy zippydeedoodah post-- buuut then I happened to sign into my old email account, and read through a coupluv old emails. Aaaand I found out a few things I hadn't realized, when I first read those messages.
Biiiig mistake, Cara.
Why d'you always have t'go and put your foot in things?!
it kills me how I cannot- have never been able to- get over this.
it frustrates me no end how it haunts me like this-- I am certain it was never meant to be like this.
and even now the guilt remains
even now the guilt remains
if the world was going to end, the phonebooths would be crammed with people dialling home to say "i love you" and "i'm sorry" and "i miss you"
and I would be standing outside with a phonecard with my eyes on heaven.
I wish I could dial some kind of celestial phone number,
sob "I am so sorry" into the other line
just before the world shifts and shatters into a million million little pieces
of flying fragments and telephone numbers left in the washing machine
I wish I could take every word back.
hanging upside down from a tree and laughing,
I remember;
show me you're as real as he tells me you are.
show me you're still near.
show me you've forgiven me.
are you watching over me
from where you are?