{ and we'll play summer on repeat;

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

hello, old friend. 6:21 AM

"Momma said kill them with kindness.
I kill them with words and nicotine.
they never stood a chance."
----

Today has been considerably productive.
I'm satisfied.

Econs tuition + cartalk about Paris. Daddy says the people there're pretty cold, for the City of Love. I personally think it was just a matter of seasons. (they went in winter)
Lace on a pair of boots and pull on a floppy hat and cocoon yourself in a dark blue trenchcoat with thick woolen lining and see if you feel like talking to anyone.
Mathematics and then shopping with Poppy and Mum. GSS, Great Singapore Sale; HA. It should be rechristened "Gahmen Say Spend" because honestly there wasn't anything fantastically particularly extraordinarily great about it.A frighteningly great number of people, maybe, but that was about it. Put me in one of those I-feel-like-stepping-on-Humanity's-toes moods.

Last night was fun.
Tanaquil Seregond and Saine Leingod have returned from the dark abyssmal pit that was formerly pre-IGGY-results limbo.
Excerpt, now. Reaaaally long excerpt.
----
Cara: "Aaanywhere." *her eyes sparkle as she jingles a purse under her cloak* "...When you're fiance to the heir to the Samarkand gem mines-- the country's your playground."
Joe: "Bloody big and ridiculously hot playground..."
Cara: "Ah, it's not so bad; stop being such a wuss."
*stands back and eyes him skeptically from head to toe*
"...Maybe, for starters, some clothes better suited for this heat."
Joe: *his eyes do this o_O*
"I'm not wearing anything made of silk, or with beads and dangly bits!"
Cara: *grins wickedly* "Now, whatever gave you that idea?" *points to a row of stores up ahead by way of direction, then moves off in that direction*
Joe: *follows, with a sigh*
"And you can do the talking, the locals don't 'get' a good, thick Republican accent...."
Cara: "...Sorry, what did you say?"
*winks before turning into the weaving crowd*
Joe:*growls something about a ridiculous Frontier accent under his breath and moves on*
Cara: *at the store, they are greeted by a squat, jolly-faced little man in a turban and a smartly tailored shirt several sizes too small. His eyes light up at the sight of the stranger with the odd skin colour, clapping two meaty palms together in gleeful welcome*
"Welcome, sir! Anything for you? You come in, look around, have see. Everything, we have. You want silk? We have. Beads and dangly bits? Also can make for you, sir."
Joe:"Uh...do you have anything without dangly bits? And no silk..."
*he looks around uncomfortably at the miriad of bright clothes, none of which strike him as being something he'd be caught dead wearing*
Cara: "...I think you'd look pretty good in silk," *inputs Tana. slides him a sly glance, before moving off discreetly herself to sift through the racks of vibrantly dyed dresses and harem trousers*
Joe:"What's wrong with what I'm wearing, hm?"
Cara: *the shopkeeper, seeing his chance, pounces at once* "Too hot, sir! You wear in Samarkand, you sweat, you die, not good, sir! You want, I give you good price."
*produces, with a flourish, several gaudily coloured...more costumes than outfits, really*
Joe:*Saine sighs loudly, and looks upward in silent prayer*

Cara: *mutters something about fashion impediments under her breath, as she hands him the outfit* "Try it on."
Joe : "...um, where, exactly?"
Cara: *in unison, both Tana and the shopkeeper point to a modest sized, rather flimsy looking changing screen placed thoughtfully between two racks at the side of the store*
Joe: "Ah..."
*Saine emerges, dressed in the outift, which just about fits, feeling slightly ridiculous and rather exposed*
Cara: *in her trademark expression, one of her eyebrows goes up. Waaaay up.*
*tilts her head slightly in a vain attempt to conceal a smile*
"...Well."
*shopkeeper bounceth forth enthusiastically* "Very fashion, sir! Very fashion! You take this, yes? I give good price."
Joe: *he notices her amusement and grimaces...*
*he notices the shopkeeper's excitement and shrugs regretfully*
Cara: *cuts in smoothly, before Saine has a chance to back out*
Joe: "I don't think it fits..."
Cara: "...We'll take it."
Joe: *he looks at her in abject horror*
"Will we?"
Cara: *the sale is made, and with a mischievous glance behind her, Tana begins striding out of the store*
"...Oh yes. In fact- I think you look rather spiffy."
Joe: "Did I ever tell you that I hate you?"
Cara: *stage whispers to the storekeeper: "...He doesn't mean that." before blowing the little man a kiss and sweeping out of the door*

...Mhm.
Die, Paolini, die.
There're new kidz on the block.

On another note.
...Today...I received my IGGY forms. Back. To myself.
Turns out I'd written my address + IGGY's address on the wrong sides of the envelope.
...Damn.
Lesson learnt: NEVER TRUST THE OLD MEN AT THE POST OFFICE, THEY LIE

>:(

Mum found this little piece of information incredibly amusing for some reason and went about the whole day interjecting this revelation into the conversations of whoever she was talking to at the time.
...thaaaanks, Mum.

Oh, and.

I do the stupidest things sometimes, I swear.
Plusss today in the car, Mum was on the phone with Daddy and I was on the phone with Xu Yang discussing when we were going to meet up again for our Project Work meeting.
Thennn I drifted slightly and got distracted by Mum's conversation on the phone with Daddy and this is what happened-
Xu Yang: So we can meet at 11am tomorrow? Are you free?
Me: *distractedly* ...Hmm?
Xu Yang: 11. Meeting.
Me: ...Hmm? Oh, mhm, should be fine... *still has one ear on Mum and Dad's convo*
Xu Yang: Okay then. 11. Will see you tomorrow.
Me: *distractedly, still* ...Okay. Bye.
Xu Yang: Bye. Don't be late.
Me: Mmk. Love you.

*click*

(three seconds later...)

Me: O_O !!!!!!

Contemplated calling Xu Yang up right away to explain that no, I don't actually love him, no, it was not a misplaced confession of the heart, I was distracted and it's what I always say to my parents before we hang up.

...Poor Xu Yang. Bet he can't look me in the eye tomorrow.

Okay now.
Enough rambling. Mathzzzz calls my name, and I go, I go.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

hello, old friend. 11:55 PM

"I've been breathing seven thousand days now, but I've only been alive a year or two"
---

So term break's begun.
...Though technically it's faaar from being a term break because crucial exams begin the DAY school starts again and I am so unprepared qu-09rqwoidkl.
...Uh huh, and spending half an hour blogging this is sooo gonna help me out of my predicament, not.

My productivity level has been suffering some serious Law of Diminishing Returns (definition: LDMR states that as more of a variable factor is used in conjunction with a fixed factor of production, eventually the marginal product of the variable input will decline. applicable only to SRAC. See, Ms Tan? I'm not that much of an epically phailing Econz student after all)

ASEAN Summit next week,
Australia next month (next next week),
and Summer U next next month.

Ho there, girl, reins up, full speed ahead.

Mum: *parades around the room in her newly tailored ripped (oxymoron? I know) jeans*
Dad: Su, you look like a hobum in that.
Mum: o_O
Me: o_O
Mum: Hobum?
Dad: Yeah. You know. Hobum. Raggle taggle hippy person.
Me: ...Dad; it's either a "street bum" or a "hobo". Nnno such thing as a hobum. Whatever that is.

Poppy: (warning me about the dangers of Evil White Men) ...But Cara, you know. White men beat up their wives!
Gong: *agrees gravely*
Me: Haha...I'm sure.
Gong: It's true.
Poppy: *in perfect earnest* ...Sometimes even murder them.

Ohh yeah.
And people wonder why I turned out the way I did.

Yesterday was disgusting.
Sometimes this place is a loony bin, I swear. Move over, Girl Interrupted.
hurricanes in suburban houses, her face contorting and twisting like an ugly marionette trying to cry, him taking her side even when she's wrong. Always. In some countries they call that loyalty but over here we just call it p___whipped.
senseless. all of this, you, us: senseless.
words I will not easily forget nor forgive.

I escape to the rooftop and sit there, arms pulling knees close,
sea-blue nightdress amidst the grey concrete and rafters.
The busy phone line on the other end says, "...sweetheart you've got to deal with this one on your own."

So I do.
And it's a little harder than the last time; but I just about manage it,
see, this is why I am afraid to become anything but
unreachable.

The little sister climbs over our balcony parapet and joins me on the rooftop a little while later, and we sit there talking about Could Bes and how nightskies move so that the stars look like they are
"I wish we had a Peter Pan to come and fly us away to Neverland"

I go to sleep early that night.
Good intentions I slept through tug at my purple-sleeved elbow, warn me not to go back the way I did.

Woke up today thinking things might be different.
Ha, and ha.

See the thing is the less you take your little colourful pills and the more your dependence and the louder your screams on the phoneline and against my skin and the brighter the delirium in your eyes when you rampaged through Civilia "SOMEBODY HAD BETTER CONTROL ME I'M GOING MAD I'M GOING MAD"

...the stronger my conviction that you don't have a damn idea what's "good for me".

So
I'll sign on the dotted line myself if I have to.
If you thought I would kneel and apologize for forgiveness like you wanted
you were sorely mistaken, my sweet.

she did
but it's not going to happen with me.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

hello, old friend. 10:08 AM

and i said: your eyes are the brightest of all the colours;
----

Here we come, here we come, here we come.

Toni, Jag; I miss you two. I wish, more than anything, that you guys could be there too.
But you know through it all that Jag- you'll always be my Gossip Girl, and your coughfitcoughD--- sekrit stays safe with me (kinda); and...Toni, Toni, Toni.
Soul sisters, always.

I'll look after Jenna like she was my little sister; don't you worry.

PERFORMANCE AND MYTHHHHHH.
Joe got in ("OSTRIIIIIIICCHHHHH")
Kieran got in
Christina got in
Maahwish got in
Saphy got in
....and Tyler got in as fellow JM.

Best. summer. ever.

If I am incoherent, I am to be excused; I am running on no sleep and caffeine and mild delirium.
Also, my shin hurts from bouncing up and down, and my hip and nose both hurt from where I ran into the swing in the pitch darkness after finding out that Joe had gotten in.

Joe: *picks up the phone on the first ring* *glumly* IhatemymumshetoldyoubeforeIgottotellyouthenews.

:P

I have been deliciously happy today- the first thing I did when I got up this morning was to turn up The Chieftains on the stereo and Irish jig around the room with my IGGY lanyard.
Because I are pro Riverdancer like that.

Oh, and today on the bus, I met the straaaangest person!
Who tried to do the whole psycho-analysis shindig on me.
Ohh, sugar, you thought you were being smart.

"See, I can read your mind." + "I can read you. I know what kind of a person you are." + "...Behind that beautiful face, I can see the person deep down inside of you"

...Can you, really? Then you might've realized that no, I'm not actually from the Northern part of America; no, I'm not actually Polynesian-Chinese-Irish;
and no, for the record- my name isn't actually Tanaquil Seregond.

I just said that cuz I knew it was a pain to spell.

...but digressing.
SUMMER U.

Mum: "Cara, remember the weight limit for your luggage bag is only 20kg..."
...Mum knows me too well, I swear.

I can pack one less set of lingerie, though; SAPHY, take note.

·#Saphy™.· says: (1:06:17 AM)
cara has got in?
Lyngerie says: (1:06:22 AM)
yeah!
Lyngerie says: (1:06:26 AM)
as your JM
·#Saphy™.· says: (1:06:30 AM)
:O
·#Saphy™.· says: (1:06:33 AM)
i have her bra :L!

-----

(diary excerpt #256)

...and once I get to England, everything'll be all right.
Everything'll fall into place.

There'll be familiar faces lighting up at airports and warm hands to hold and technicolour polaroids to be in and clandestine fingertips in dark corners
and music to make memories to
and the world to be conquered and

we'll be there at the centre of it all
in the heart of the hurricane
the eye of the storm;

a modern-day Coppelia
dance on don't stop.

Monday, May 18, 2009

hello, old friend. 10:06 PM

it'd be nice to believe that you're my newfound stability

(diary excerpt, as follows)
----
...I HAVE JUST HAD THE BEST FIVE MINUTES IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

I:
1) ate a Reese's peanut butter cup, & then
2) called IGGY

her: just to confirm-- is your surname Neo?
me: mhm
her: yes....you've got a place in Performance and Myth
me: !!! ...HOMG. omg. thank you. thank you.
her: *sounds mildly bemused, laughs* that's all right, dear.
me: *is in seizures on the other end of the phone* ...no, you don't get it. omg. omg. thank you! so!much!
then I put the phone down and let out a truly.epic.squeal

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

then bounced out of the room yelling "I GOT IN! I GOT IN!!!" until the whole house knew,

and then bounced back into my room and spent the next ten minutes just jumping up and down in my nightdress in front of the mirror.
"I GOT INI GOT IN I GOT IN"

[/edit]
Oh, and.
KIERAN, YOU ARE A SLOW TWAT.

Cara: (on msn) ...and then she asked me for my surname.
Kieran: and then?
Cara: and then... :D :D :D :D
Kieran: ???
Cara: That's precisely it, you! ":D :D :D :D "
Kieran: oh. klkl.
*-- thirty seconds later...--*
Kieran: OMG
Kieran: I GET IT NOW
Kieran: OMG
Kieran: *SCREAMS*

...Top 5%, definitely, that one. :P
Kieran: So can I tell Joe when he next comes online? Pleeeeaaaaase?
Cara: No.
Kieran: *crestfallen*

[/edit]
...Just got off the phone with Joe.

He didn't sound v thrilled at first when I told him THE news; but that was only cuz he was grouchy cuz of exams and delayed IGGY results. Completely. Understand.

Conversation, though, got v high and v happy, v fast.

Joe: (on IGGY's delay) ...Wankers! Why couldn't they just send off a bloody email?
Cara: Yeah! I mean- how hard can it be?? "Yes, you got in."
Joe: Yeah!!
Cara: "Yes, you got in." Just. Three. Words.
Joe: *silence*
Cara: Four. I mean four.
Joe: ...I'm not going to say anything.

I also kept mishearing things. Darnded Midlands accent! ;)

Joe: "why would anyone have persian exam papers?"
Cara: "...what? Whatwhatwhat pink panthers?"

Joe: "did you just say kk in real life?"
Cara: "...'do I sell cocaine in real life?' ? ...whaaaat?"

We laughed a lot, twas nice.

And thank you, everyone, for the "OMG YOU GOT IN?!?! CONGRATZZZ WHAT ABOUT MUSCLE JOE" messages. Ily guys. I really do.

Fingers crossed for today's call.

...Ostrich, fish fingers, or mackerel?

Saturday, May 16, 2009

hello, old friend. 5:00 AM

Hello, Saturday.

... A lack of IGGY results is getting me anaesthesized!!
Ohh, IGGY board, oh, oh, oh. Kidz all over the world are S-U-F-F-E-R-I-N-G with shaky hands and tremulously tapping toes and are obsessively checking mantlepieces, FB, email inboxes (it can't just be me) --
won't you cut the red tape and put us out of our misery?

Lisa, doll, I know you're having them IGGY symptoms again.
...Believe me, I know.
Some afternoons I just drift away from Binomial Expansion and APGP and just glance up at the pictures hanging over my desk, the smiles, the peace signs, the flying kisses, the party poppers and our final wishes; and I just let everything run back through my fingers. sand falling in reverse.
So hang strong, love. Once an IGGYian-- always an IGGYian!
(And yes, I would even unpack 50 tubes of eyeliner/mascara just so I could pack you into my suitcase. )

04, -- Friday was bittersweet.
Just because we weave around different tables now doesn't mean I don't still love you.

On the same/a different? note.
DWL Society meeting (first official one ever!!) on Monday.
I love you, IP Arts kidz. For a bunch of alleged Cannot Make Its, we sure are cute.
And I have actually started on my Maths Holiday Revision Package. HOW AWESOME AM I. Applause all around please, why thank you you're too kind.
Look- usually I can't even get past two questions in one go, so you've gotta understand this is quite a milestone for me.

Oh, and.
People who have been religiously inquiring after IGGY results- thank you.
You guys always make me smile.
And yes, I WILL get back to all of you-- once results actually get through!! ...which, from the looks of things, will probably be sometime next next year after the 2010 Summer U's over.
:/.

[/edit]

"how did this happen?"

"...you're asking me?
in retrospect, we are impossible."

[/edit]

the semblance of nightglow
there is no respite in being the one always left to sweep up
you, you pronounce my name better than he ever did.
i only begin to understand you after forty-five minutes but you speak static like
it's a third language and i've got a native ear for it
still.
try as i might, i cannot renounce the pity party that dances in the inner chambers of the secret soul.
why now, and why two such undeserving people?

we pay a heavy price for spectacularity
we are insured in electric automation the c-c-c-contraction of the beating red muscle that if put to sleep would spare us so much.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

hello, old friend. 5:59 AM

Am I the only damn person in this whole damn town
who still thinks everyone's beautiful?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

hello, old friend. 7:50 AM

(hush, baby, hush.
hush, baby, hush.)

there is a strange sense of peace
at the bottom of the ocean.
white hair, ricepaper lips, muted limbs.
don't struggle.
don't fight.
you exhale and find you breathe sapphire.

sapphire breathes you, finds and exhales you.
fight? don't.
struggle? don't.
limbs muted, lips ricepaper, hair white.
at the bottom of the ocean
there is a strange sense of peace.

)hush, baby, hush.
hush, baby, hush.(

Sunday, May 10, 2009

hello, old friend. 9:35 PM

Enduring hearts make it to the finish and I refuse to let us falter.
We’ll be alright, I know I know I know I hope I know.
----

I should stop blogging about pre-results jitters, I know it gets annoying.
But this is my bit of the cyberfield.

So if you've got a problem-- click the X and...begone.

I should have a little placard on me that reads: "out of order till results come in".
Seriously. It's past 12 noon, and what have I done today? Oh, let's see...:

1) Watch the Addams Family.
2)
3)
4)
...
10) ...yeaaah...
53) ...that's about it.

I'd go out and retail therapize myself, but having done a little too much of that over the past week, I'm pretty much brokeded.
Also I just don't feel like facing crowds today.

So much, so much to say and I don't trust the airwaves.
WITH GOOD REASON, TOO.
Stuff I ended up mishearing last night:
"mackerel"
"you need to grow to be five foot three"

:/
:/

i rest my case.

Oh, and I'm sorry Joe and Sean and FB copyright and particularly Sean,
but I'm gonna post this up here, just cuz it makes me laff
and in the face of such tension suspension that is quite a feat:

pwned.jpg (V 1.0)

pwned.jpg (V 2.0)

EPICpwned.jpg

Sean's face makes me LOL.

:D

I feel a little better now.
Thank you, Sean, you were pwned for a good cause.

And now.
Auditions.

Up and on!

hello, old friend. 4:21 AM

One more day.

Cue symphonic Les Miserables-type crescendo...!!!!

Although...

Joe Rolleston at 1:53am May 10

Like you said though, Kieran, they'll make us wait 'til Saturday!

Kieran Ferrol at 1:56am May 10

If They Do, Sunday Morning, There Will Be An Angry Black Man In The Office Waiting For Them!

Oh, the tension could kill.

Please God please God please God please.

So much hinges on this, so much,

and right now I am on my toes at the edge of the cliff

with one finger hooked to the sleeve of your shirt.

(no not yours, God-- his.)

Once this is over

maybe I'll be able to breathe again.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

hello, old friend. 7:51 AM

new kidz on the block.

THE ~~DEAD POETS'~~ DEADWEIGHTLOSS SOCIETY.

...in celebration of all things anti-Science.

All hail our esteemable founders, Josh and Ilyna.

Yay for Mallory Towers inspiration!
First official meeting: sekrit feast on top of the _______.
We will have a sombre DWL Society pledge, and tribal names, (I want mine to be !IGGY IGGY. Lisa can name herself !CAP CAP if she wants.), and ohhh we are awesome.

So awesome, in fact, that we have come up with our own pidgin DWL Society language.
Note to self, though: Propose to DWL Society exco to implement a rule in which no member is permitted to use more than 2 DWL Society codewords in sentence.
Otherwise you get something like this...

Amrit: "Kerfuddle. Puck you, hoochi!!!"

...yeaah.

...Ohhh, Arts kidz.
For a coupluv reputed no-gooders (read: did not score A*** in Science subjects), we sure are cute.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

hello, old friend. 7:44 AM

(i woke up from a half-slumber one night
and found my fingers slumped across the keyboard and this typed out, albeit grammatically and typographically G-dawful, on one of my Microsoft Word windows.
over-active subconscious, anyone?)
---

"but i don't regret any of it," you scrawled
(or at least i dreamt you did)
on your eyelids in coral blue phosphorescence
and i fell into your hues like a tipsy water baby
but even the ocean doesn't go on forever.
and one day you will plunge me from your depths
to cough up my bones in some mermaiden cove
to spend my life as legend. always talked of, never seen.
such is life but i tell you my kind ocean, my beatific my most terrible Poseidon
you would never consent to such a price on my freedom
no, rather
keep me close
hold me under.

guard me in your wrecks of candles held by the quiet cove children
dance me amongst silent Titanics. armadas. girls who welcomed the undertow with open arms
i pray
string mildewed earth treasure into my hair
my laughter, my smile
will outshine all the white bones in your happy kingdom.

Monday, May 4, 2009

hello, old friend. 8:27 AM

To you#239: You're talking too much, and I'm on my side of the bridge holding a lighter.

That aside, I am...happy? Something like it, at least.

Today, after school ended (half day!); unlike 99% of the school population who probably went back and did their graded Functions assignment (which I did do, btw- THERE IS HOPE FOR ME YET), Lynna and I ventured down to Next for haircuts, made friends with the hairstylists, then moseyed around Holland V because of course we don't have a ton of homework or a GP test coming up tomorrow, who us? oh noo.

SIX DAYS, OH WOW OH WOW OH WOW.
Breathless and I haven't even started running yet.

"...Y'know...yesterday I was thinking about it, and then I just put my head down and prayed, 'Dear God, please let Cara get into Summer U, because then she'll be happy',"
- Amrit.

...This coming from Amrit. The atheist non-believer/arts student (stah stah stah)! ;)
Aw, luv. (:

---

The Anti-Hero says: (12:42:02 AM)
oh and!
millie came up with a song for us!!
it's not quite our usual..style
but have a listen
The Anti-Hero says: (12:42:27 AM)
she said
"it's cause i feel sorry for you, cause you can only speak to her on the computer"

So behold.
Our newly officiated, very cool, very non-geeky, verrry epic Theme Song...

Oh yeah because we're deep like that.

----

epicer updates soon.

Friday, May 1, 2009

hello, old friend. 9:37 PM

unsubmitted essay #157

Can I help you?
You must be new here. I've seen you wandering these streets with those wondering, trusting, accepting eyes; and the big city isn't a good place to be any of those things.
You've got dirt on your face and a palmprint on your coat where a man tried to mug you and from the way you took a step back when I approached you, I know you know. I know you're learning fast. This is a big city and it's every man for himself.

Can I help you?
...You must think I'm crazy or out to get you like the rest of them. I suppose in places like these, it's not every day that a complete stranger walks up and extends their hand to you without trying to get their fingers in your pockets. But there's something about you that I like, yeah, something about you that's screaming "break me I'm fragile" and I love that.
You're vulnerable. You're innocent. You wouldn't last a day in the city and I want to protect you from that.

Maybe it's the way you remind me of me. Of the way I used to be. Of the way everyone here used to be before the city swallowed us whole.
We used to know what love was. We went out at night and the nightclubs were filled with people laughing and throwing up their hands with old friends. (Now the nightclubs have just become seedy watering-holes for lonely animals. Loneliness makes people no better than animals.)
We used to have our own voices. The streets resonated with the sound of our singing and everything harmonized and was beautiful even though we were all singing different melodies. (Now they play piped-in music in the department stores and the entire city's been tuned to a single frequency, because urban warriors find strength in numbers, in statistics, in homogeneity.)
We used to be alive. Everything about this city was once alive. The people lifted their faces to the sky like springflowers and the roads ran like rivers and the buildings sprang from the ground and grew like joyful trees. (Now you could walk the city by evening and mistake it for a ghost town. The flowers don't look you in the eye and the people walk with their heads down and collars turned up. The buildings keep growing taller but that's because we keep building them that way, not because they're alive; they gave up on us and died a long time ago)

Can I help you?
I couldn't help us
couldn't help me
you're my last shot at saving a bit of how this place used to be.
There's got to be some way I can save you; some way short of placing you in a glass globe
suspended high above the city to stop it from getting to you.
You need to be protected.
You're a poster child for everything we've lost along the way.

Can I help you?
We're too far gone to help ourselves
please help us.

hello, old friend. 12:46 AM

"The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next."
-Ursula K. LeGuin

---

I hope you're right, Madame LeGuin; because my life right now and for the next ten days is and will be just one under-skin maelstrom of permanent, intolerable uncertainty!

...It's finally Friday. Finally finally finally.
Last night ended on a note of heads on tables, dark hair streaming, and plates and jars of jam and spreads and forks being pushed aside roughly. inexplicable tears.
"you're tired. you're overreacting"
"...no I'm not!" cue fleeing outside to the night garden to behind the big family car and leaning my forehead against the cool stillness of the metal license plate.

But it's all right now.

People around me are treading carefully.
I say lesson well learnt.

Things I have done today:
1) ASEAN Position Paper on N.Korea's Rich-Poor Divide
2) My part for the GPP
3) fumbled over Sequences and Series
4) Will complete Econs Case Study 5 later on
5) A paragraph of the letter to Lt J. Rolleston
6) Will complete said letter later on at the club.

Am currently compiling a "Roadtrip!!!" playlist for Amrit and Lisa since our AirAsia venture was a serious fiasco and I am betting that our Australia adventure/vacation in Rio/Egypt/Mars, whatever, does it even make a difference? - will not be becoming a reality anytime soon.

Oh, and this is my current ear candy.
Escapism FTW.

boondocks, baby, hardknock kids.

...See; THOSE are the kind of people who'll have what it takes to survive in the real world.
Not pampered, spoon-fed kids who come home everyday to a hand-prepared meal of three dishes and Brand's Essence of Chicken and a steady weaned diet of Andrew Er and Learning Lab tuition courses.