{ and we'll play summer on repeat;

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

hello, old friend. 7:08 AM

In about one year you'll have it all figured out
These big city dreams are what you're about
Walking like strangers among these states
Only time will tell how long I can wait;
---

ALOHA LOVELIES.

yes I know my tagboard's dead.
But no matter.

...I JUST GOT AN EMAIL FROM ELEMM HURRAYYY. <3 Gosh I haven't talked to any of the AU Oldies in ages (if you have no idea what an AU Oldie is, then it's okay- you probably aren't one); and come to think of it, I haven't roleplayed in eons, either. ...But yes, luv, we should def meet up after 'zams. We should drag Bran over here from Down Under; and then bring him to little Singaporeanishy places like Kopitiams and Takas and Orchards and J8s, and then leave him there with a touristy hat and hawaiian bermudas and S$10 and then watch from a distance to see how he copes. (Evil laughter.)

...Have I mentioned that I love my class?
I've been embarrassing Divij and XY by bringing Princess Sparkles to school everyday. They tried protesting once; but then I threatened that I would bring Princess Sparkles' friends to school as well, and put them on their desks.
... I haven't heard any complaints since.

"...this table is dedicated to the memory of those who died waiting for the lesson to end.
...one minute of silence."
- the scribbled inscription on divij's table. (tisn't vandalism, tis art!)

We had a class discussion about job options, the other day.
XY wants to be a sniper/owner of the Lego Company, and Divij wants to be a good dictator/owner of McDonald's. Technically, "good dictator" is already a paradox- so it looks like he'll haveta settle for owning McDonald's. I've gotten him to agree to name a Happy Meal after me, but the names he came up with for it SUCKED.
1. Caramel Cara-meal
2. Cara McMeal. (...honestly, whuttt?!)
so it looks like I'm gonna have to take matters into my own hands and come up with my OWN Happy Meal name.

and as for my job options-- well. I'm going to study law- or at least- that's what I plan to study.
if the world was perfect, I'd love to go into the arts- but Singapore being Singapore- going into the arts hardly pays well; and I want to be able to give my parents a great life, as well as be able to financially support my own taste, y'know.

So we'll see. No, I am not a tai-tai.
Say what you may- but I'm not as ditzy as I let y'all think I am.
Sometimes it's fun to play along with the stereotype that people label me with, s'all.
...But even when you're sniggering; remember that I'll be the one laughing ten years from now, at our high school reunion.

KKY: Well as for me; I'm going to be a physiotherapist.
Class: oh that's nice.
KKY: yes. Then I'm going to become a physio-the-rapist.

EW!

...Oh and RJ and I're the next Weird Al Yankoviches-- only radder, and hotter, and awesomer. WE ARE PAPERPLANES. :D

The Geeks Get The Grades (to the tune of Geeks Get The Girls)
Another Friday night
You're going mugging right?
At the library, you see me trotting over
Whatcha gonna do? I got more books than you
I've mugged everywhere from Tampines to Dover

We're nerds to the power of infiniteeeeee
You can mug as hard as you want; but you can't beat meeeee...

Tonight, tonight; I always get it right
We're not losers; we don't need luck on our side
GPAs will stay; social lives- they fade
Mugging all around the world, cuz the geeks get the grades!

Nerdalicious (to the tune of Fergalicious)
Alpha! Beta! Delta! Gamma!

Percolation definition makes the nerds go gaga
You calling them a nerd? ...They call you a mutha-******
You can see me; you can't beat me
I got 4 As; you got 1 D
I got reasons why I'm readin'
That's to beat you every season

Percolation (definition)
But I ain't tellin' you
Cuz if I tell you anything, we'll get the same grades too
Percolation (condensation)
...Makes the nerds go hey! hey!
and they'll be lining down the way just to see my GPA.

A! A! A! A!

***

I can't wait for Saturday. :D
I've been studying pretty hard today. [/is proud of self.]

okay, s'time to crawl into the cubby hole.
Bizzy, bizzy remainder-of-the-week to get through.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

hello, old friend. 4:34 AM

...calling all vampires/werewolves/monsters still walking the earth today.

I saw the ASEAN Night 2008 (this saturday, finally, hurray) poster on my way to the parade square today.
Guess what the theme for this year's ASEAN Night is?

... Life amuses me, sometimes.

Looks like I'm up for a fang-tastic time.
Watch out, Volturi. Here we come.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

hello, old friend. 3:01 AM

And you dropped the note and we changed key

You changed yourself and I changed me

Then I screamed the bridge and you cried the verse

and our chorus came out unrehearsed

and you smiled the whole way through it;

----

This blogpost is of no particular significance.

Consider it a collection of random musings and stardust and thoughts gathered from here and there.

I've been scrolling through pictures of MG's Founders' Day Dinner on facebook- and looking at all the pretty familiar faces and the over-the-counter makeup and the laughter and the silhouette lighting- it makes me feel a little funny inside.
...Once an MG girl, always an MG girl; or so the saying goes- and yet sometimes I can't help feeling a little out of it. I know there're people out there who know what I mean.
It makes me smile a little to think that if I hadn't come to nj, I'd have been getting gussied up and having my hair coiffed and smiling big and taking lots of pictures and making memories too.

I don't regret my decision, though.
Or, at the very least- I don't think I do.
Coming here has made me so much stronger, and wiser, and it has taught me to fear myself, and to love myself, and to trust myself, and to heal myself,
and even amidst all this grey I'm pretty sure there's something beautiful here.

Today I realized that both ASEAN Night and F.O.P are rolling around yet again,

and I actually froze where I was when I realized that it's already been a year.

...wow.

One whole year.

Has it really been that long?

It seems not-so-long-ago that we were heading off to F.O.P and ASEAN Night:

Delirious(?), we linked hands across the aisles to pray

save them, find us, we are here, we are here, we are here,

gold and black-lined eyes and little swishy dresses and blinding white dancefloor lights

a ceiling of synthetic stars and stone steps and sprite in champagne glasses

sekrit pacts and dancing to sinatra and the stroke of midnight

the first sleepover that was actually a sleepover because we three were so exhausted that we fell asleep as soon as we got home

gee golly it seems like just yesterday.

MaxTing&I were talking about it and so much has changed since yesterday/last year/our clock never tells the right time anyway.

and yet I think we can all safely say that the real life rollercoaster has made us so much (insertglowingadjectivehere)

and now the weight of the world is on my shoulders

but I have found a way to steal the sun from the sky

long live the day I decided to fly.

for you, and for you, and you, and you,
and you.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

hello, old friend. 8:07 AM

is sitting in front of the computer at 11:11 writing an essay due on 31/7.

a snitchet?

" Sometimes I linger around the cafes on the street—the little, overpriced niches on fashionably obscure little pavements.
The brokenhearted are regular patrons here. They order their coffees straight up—no milk, no sugar—and sit alone at tables meant for two.
In the movies, brokenhearted people often end up healing each other; but things are different in the city. Predators of the heart lurk everywhere these days—and in this barren landscape of half-whispered truths and whispered half-truths, we have learnt to flee or fight and to guard our hearts fiercely; to break hearts or be broken ourselves.

Yet for all our vain defenses, it is undeniable that this land has been starved of love. Although everyone looks strong and in control in the daylight; by night, the city blazes with the glow of a hundred thousand lights kept burning in a hundred thousand windows of a hundred thousand people waiting, and wishing, and wanting, and remembering, and regretting.

And so the city sends out its silent, desperate signal flare as the lighthouses in Atlantis must have done in those last few, final, terrible moments—and yet the ever-widening tear in the sky must have interfered with the Heavenly reception because none of the gods have heard our cry for help; and if they have, we must have sunk too far down for them to reach us. "

and that's all I'm going to post up here.
I'm frightfully afraid that I'm veering waaaayyy off the essay topic, but hopefully the sore fingers and dark eyes that tonight will give will all pay off.

[/edit]
...uggghhhhh writers' block. I hate it when this happens.

it's complicated,
(this time I think it could be)
triangulated,
(it could be just what we need)
so what d'you say: we give it up and walk away?
we're overrated anyway.

Friday, July 18, 2008

hello, old friend. 7:11 AM

"I was meant for the stage,
I was meant for the curtain.
I was meant to tread these boards,
Of this much I am certain."
- The Decemberists, "I Was Meant For The Stage"
-----

WE SING THE BODY ELECTRIC.
BROADWAY NIGHT 2008!

It was a blast.
If you didn't go for it; then you missed out on something really good.

From the floorboards to the flys,
Here I was fated to reside.
And as I take my final bow,
Was there ever any doubt?
And as the spotlights fade away,
And you're escorted through the foyer,
You will resume your callow ways,
But I was meant for the stage.

so today rolled around and soon we found ourselves bustling around to get ready.
makeup! hair! costumes! and I'm proud to say that I ACTUALLY GOT MAKEUP ON RJ.
I know. Real makeup.
Tell me I'm a genius!

... When I get into university; I'm going to join the inhouse drama society.
I've missed being on the stage so much.
With life just going whoooosh the way it does; sometimes it's hard to remember what I was born to do; where I should be.
but give me the stagelights and the screenlights and the glitz and the glamour and the songs and the stars in their eyes
my heart screams you are home.

schmexy legs.

strings orchestraaaa.

emo Belle.

Serene & I had a competition to see who could smile the biggest and I won, so HA.

Serene: Oliver Twist?

I caught RJ on film singing Think Of Me.
Awww look at that face.

dig the black shirts I think they're wicked sexy.

Broadway Night emceez.

So then the stagelights panned and I heard my name and I was all OMG it's my turn.
Ordinarily when I get nervous just before going onstage-- my voice gets all quivery and jello-y. Like at Talenttime this year, oh em gee. They were screening the video replay at lunch today ZMG tres embarrassing! and then of course The Clique HAD to go gather around the screen and make lotsa noise ("OMG it's Cara LOOK! LOOK everyone, LOOK!" ... oh yes sooo subtle); so naturally people came around to see what it was all about and we ended up with this whole little audience staring at the me in the telly screen.
[/cringe.]
Anyway. So what with the whole nervous/quivery voice thing; yeah, I was pretty worried.
But I'd discovered a new way of quelling the nerves: dancing around backstage!
So while the Strings Orchestra was playing the King And I; I was pirouetting and twirling and skipping around backstage while the PA people looked on in tolerant amusement but I swear it worked like a charm.

1. My Favourite Things (Sound of Music)
2. Castle On A Cloud (Les Miserables)
3. A Little Fall Of Rain (Les Miserables)
4. It Sucks To Be Me (Avenue Q)

... When I went onstage to sing A Little Fall Of Rain with Chester-- it was an amazing feeling.
Standing there; I wasn't Cara any more.
I was Eponine, and I was dying, and I was irrevocably in love with a guy who could never see me as more than just his best friend, and who would, after my death, go on to live out his happily ever after with the girl of his dreams;
and standing there, I felt the tears rising behind my eyelids and fortunately I didn't bawl onstage.

I'm glad the audience liked it.
I liked it too.

...and then the Avenue Q (ie "It Sucks To Be Me") performance!
Oh gawsh. I had so much fun. I'm a convert now-- I love the lyrics, they're boppadorable.

"...Your lives suck?
I hearing you correctly? Ha!
I coming to this country
For opportunities.
Tried to work in Korean deli
But I am Japanese!"

HAHAHA zmg RJ I loved your little round Japanese woman act!

okay so moving on.
SUMMER NIGHTS.
We ended up jumping onstage and dancing along like complete morons.
Puhrettee humiliating; but hey. All in the name of Broadway!

yes that be me dancing.
don't laff at least my dance moves were inspired okay.

...ANYWAY.
THANK YOU for coming, everyone.
You guys're awesome.
And thank you, Qiu and Janice and Tingy Too for the gorgeous flowers! <3>

--- post-performance:---

damn straight we're MG girls.

and my personal favourite picture.

everyone looks so happy and so squished in here (Leonard ttly flattened me, and Qiu's hogging the camera, as always)-- it just about sums up what we're all about.

(Fame!)
I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna learn how to fly high
I feel it coming together
People will see me and cry
(Fame!)

I'm gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky like a flame
(Fame!)

I'm gonna live forever
Baby remember my name;
(Fame!)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

hello, old friend. 10:12 PM

Mood: pfft.

Broadway Night rehearsals ended so late; I couldn't go down for track dinner askjfahfdjk.

RAWR.

okay y'all but we're gonna have a track christmas party/dinner thing aight?
my place, end of this year.
I asked my mum and she said yes.

(and I intend to defend my Wii boxing queen status so I'd better start practising.)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

hello, old friend. 11:57 PM

HELLO.

I'm in the nj comp lab now with STALKER KARA ANNE TAN.
It's not me she's stalking it'zzzz K_________ and OMIGOSH hun you bring a new level to Disturbia.

I'm just updating t'let y'all know that no, I'm not dead; you don't get to squabble over my worldly possessions just yet.

1) ...Honestly; I swear I'm not a ditz.
Deep down inside I'm sure I'm not frivolous; I just wear a frivolous skin over my soul sometimes and sometimes it gets hard to take it off-- but it would help muchly if you all would stop laughing at me. :/
Though I suppose I do deserve it, at times.
(in the washroom)

RJ: (comes in) ...Cara! Are you here?
Cara: (from inside) Yes I am. Are you?

2) Qiu wants to become a hot mama and she's gonna call her children Ah Hot, Ah Sexy, and Ah Cute respectively.
... Well- good for her, sez I-- but personally, I think I'll stick to Allie and Everest, kthx.

3) JAIME KIRSTY CARA MAX TING AND POSSIBLY SHU ARE ALL THE COOLEST KIDS ON THE SCENE, YO. we rock the neon leggings and the Winehouse eyeliner like whoaaa.

4) I'm sorry you got burnt, baby
but you shouldn't have come so close.

5) PROM NIGHT (the movie, not the event) date with The Clique.
Woohoo if I'm not too busy hiding behind my jacket; Imma pop up in the middle of the show behind RJ and Qiu and go phwoarrrrr into their necks.

6) Daddy's gone overseas again, so last night I ventured into Mum's room and sat on the duvet and had a good long girl talk with her.
One thing I love about my mum: she's strict sometimes, yeah; but I get to talk with her like she's one of my best girlfriends.
...I FOUND OUT THAT. She visited Cambridge with my uncle back then, years ago; and she totally revamped her look. Like-- she got her hair cut and styled into the whole punk pixie thing; with all the spikes and whatnot. Tres, tres chic, Mum! Very Agyness Deyn.
Oh and apparently she went around wearing all black, too.
HA NOW WE KNOW IT'S IN THE GENES.
...Gaw I can't imagine my mum being some kinda punky chick in black and boots and rocking the whole rebel thing. I hold her in new esteem.

7) everything changes; doesn't it, baby?

8) hello, hello, here's some shameless advertising:
COME FOR BROADWAY NIGHT.
18th July, 7.30pm, NJC's new performing arts theatre.
Tickets sold at the door; we're open to all!
You get to see me in rags.
Aaaand you get to see me die on Chester's shoulder.
K c'mon I know you're dying to come.

9) speaking of Broadway Night; dance and kickboxing and rehearsals and homework are keeleeng me. ):
please make time s t o p .
just for a little while.

10) how the hell does one dance in heels?

11) as of now I don't have much to blog about (yet) but there will be soon.
Fingers crossed.
I think everyone needs some drama in their lives-- and right now, I wouldn't mind having more.
Yeah Kat's got too much- she should give me some.
wow. SumMarissa flashback.

time to go I'll update more later.
bye lovezzz.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

hello, old friend. 11:26 PM

and so she hides behind her walls of maybe nevers
remind her there's something more than just knowing better.
----

I am: updating for no reason at all.
so if you've got better things to do; by all means- go.

So school's officially started.
Summer's officially over.

But with my class around- school's never really completely boring so that's fine by me.

I like lists and pointforms. this is my life thus far:

- I am getting bizzy!
- Yesterday's kickboxing almost killed me like aslkjfkjhdsaf we did circuits and more circuits and (just for a change of scenery) MORE circuits; and ended off with millions and millions of pushups.
"before I start you on your torture; any song requests, girls?"
"yeah. 'Mercy' by Duffy!"
"...how apt."
"we know."
- launch party at Attitude! dance performances, hooray.
- new combat releases: I hope they do choreo from Three Days Grace; I love punching to phwoaaarrr music.
- going into business with yoga guy + Gwen+ RJ!
- Broadway Night auditions, oh no.
- Jae's back from Dubai! and no she hasn't found her chic sheikh yet but she's gonna soon, I'm sure.
- this time last year I was: training my ass off for canoeing nats. Wow.
- I finished my book review in record time! Goooo Cara.
- aerius cheerleaders.
- GO NJ TRACK&FIELD. GO NJ CANOEING. HEART AND SOUL/ EVERY DROP OF BLOOD YAW.
- my stummick hurts. stupid thing. i hate gastric. ):
- nighttime phone calls and dreaming strange dreams.
- lust: Av's self-cut/David Gan bangs. I'd cut bangs for myself but they'd probably end up looking more creepy-Victorian-doll than Katie Holmeseque.
- everybody loves drama.
- my life, in particular, seems to have quite the inclination towards it.
- not that I'm complaining.
- after all
- everyone likes to think they've got movie screen lives
- and I don't blame them
- life looks so much better on tv.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

hello, old friend. 2:40 AM

love comes softly.
love comes softly.
love comes softly.
----

Current Ear Candy: SHERWOOD.
I recommend "The Summer Sends Its Love" & "Song In My Head".
I love Sherwood.

hello, darlings.

I've just helped my mums toast basil pesto and crushed garlic on foccacia for the little girl-cousins; say what? say mmm.
Yes; I know that it isn't exactly up to the standard of filet mignon or orange foie gras, yadda yadda-- but hey. It's a start. And I think I'd make a pretty good mum, even if I do say so myself.
Or at least; a pretty good mum when it comes to doing things like picking out baby's clothes and prettifying everyone for a stroll in the park and going to yoga class and choosing organic baby applesauce.
One thing I am not good at: (and which RJ is determined not to let me live down) ...is taking public transport. I'm getting the hang of it, but I'm not quite there yet. YES, RJ; you can laugh all you want. It's not my fault I turned a ten minute mrt ride into a roundabout, 50 minute affair; I swear I was trying my best.

ANYWAY.

Yesterday was Timbre with Nick+Ethan+Sophie+Qiu.
I haven't been to Clarke Quay in aaaaages.
We ordered a Bailey's + a Tuborg's + a diet soda + some funny martini looking concoction; and then passed everything around the table.
I don't care what y'all say about Bailey's being a sissy drink-- I happen to like it. Bailey's over bedtime chocolate milk, anyday.

I can't remember what we all talked about; but I know it was funny. :/
I remember laughing a lot.

(not a couple. although they kinda look it, here. (: )

"Nick stop pulling unglam faces!"
"But I'm not!"

This is how Qiu's gonna look like in twenty years; when she becomes a rich tai tai and lives on a diet of martinis and whiskey on the rocks.

I wasn't posing. I swear.
Unlike somebody. <3

Emoh hayre.
(yes I have a future in horror movies.)

Before the live band came; the stereo kept blasting Hoobastank and I think the Tuborg's worked its magick on Nick cuz he started bopping around in his seat.

"do you knowwww that every time you're here
everybody else just fades away?"

We debated about there being different kinds of people, and how you can classify people according to how they listen to music: there're the lyrics people, and the rhythm people, and the melody people.
I'm a lyrics person- I put up with songs with absolutely no rhythm and very often no identifiable melody, either; all just for the lyrics, and s'all good.
But that's just me.

Later on I suddenly turned to Qiu with a gigantic smile on my face and said: "I feel like dancing!"
"You do?! Me too!"

So I grabbed her hand and both of us excused ourselves and we ran outside Timbre to the riverside and took off our shoes and raaaaaaaaan down the quay; all laughing and shrieking and breathless. Got a lot of incredulous stares-- but hey, what's new.
I don't think Qiu has a very high alcohol tolerance. :/ She had, like, what-- one sip of Bailey's?-- and already she was skipping and hopping all around the place and chasing me around the statue of Sir Stamford Raffles.
We could hear the live band playing from where we were standing; so I threw my shoes to the side and started dancing. On hindsight that was probably kinda dumb; but hey-- spontaneity makes the world go round. Plus it was really good music, too.

I wish I could've videotaped all the good stuff that night
(bright eyes, berry-stained cheeks, red-stained mouths, breathless laughter)
and sewn the polaroids into a little golden locket that I would wear around my neck.
I don't want to grow up.
I don't want to ever forget.

...Qiu and I (by then flushed and out of breath and laughing) went back into Timbre and then realized that we had been dancing and spinning around in complete view of all the Timbre patrons.
WOW so much for being discreet. maybe we should pursue careers as street buskers.

Then the two Cinderellas glanced at the clock tower and realized (horror of horrors) it was wayyy past curfew. So we all headed back and E sent me home and I fell asleep on the bus and he didn't know which stop I had to get off at so I missed it and we ended up taxi-ing back and listening to James Blunt in the cab on the way home.

and so ended the last saturday of summer '08.
it's been a good ride; but I'm pretty sure there'll be more to come.
Sooo-- second star to the right; and straight on till morning!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

hello, old friend. 2:48 AM

because he makes me laugh
and laughing is very important.