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♥ precious.
la bella vita;

Cara

loves: black and white photography. poetry. vintage stores. thunderstorms. good ambience. fairytales. disneyworld. black kohl and fuschia lipstick. red and purple skittles. turquoise beads. icing but not cakes. might-have-beens. the dandy warhols. within temptation. automatic loveletter. mediaeval baebes. troy. interview with a vampire. the oc. making 11:11 wishes. purple glitter. mermaids. my-little-ponies. magic.

expertise: melodramaticks. eyeliner. laughing. goodbyes. hanging in there.

♥ music on, world off.
shh.

soundtrack to life.

♥ scream(?).
live.

♥ past .
instant time travel

December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010

♥ adieu .
set them free

AMANDA
ANDRE
ASH
DEB
ELEMM
07IP04!
08IP04!
JOSH
KAT
LISA
QIU
RENJEAN


♥ credits .
thankyouverymuch

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Saturday, April 5, 2008
hello, old friend. 8:08 AM

but the truth is you'll never need more,
you'll never need more,
you'll never need more than this.
----


today was beautiful terrible excellent turbulent wonderful.

words don't do it justice, but I shall try.

It all started with the crosscountry race.
Which went awfully awry. It's funny how things just happen, and how you never mean them to, or even think they would happen.
I slipped and slid downhill on my shin-splinted leg. thank God I was wearing my shin guard- else the gravel would've torn up my calf. :/ and then I consequently couldn't breathe, and so had to pull up by the marshalls a little more than halfway through the race, and sat by the side of the road recovering and feeling like a right dummy.
a little later I felt better and decided to walk back; and one of the marshalls decided to accompany me. We got to talking on the way-- her name's Ferra (Ferra & Cara!) and she looks seventeen but is only fourteen and has brown eyes but wears blue contact lenses.
Qiu and Raman and Yan came to look for me cos they got really worried. Thank you girls-- I love you all so much. <3
so we walked, and then halfway back, Ferra looked at her phone, looked at me, and went,
"oh hey- the marshall back there wants your number!"
and we're all just, "... O_O."

skipskipskip fastforward to me on my way back home; and getting a message from Qiu: "hey, are you gonna go for your swim later on? I think I'll go for a night run if the weather permits it."
hence began the best of all evenings.
we made plans to go on a night run together-- got home and got ready in my room and jumped around to boppy music with my hair everywhere.

as soon as she got off the bus; we squealed "omigosh hi! (!!)", hugged each other, turned, and broke into a run straight away. it was pretty funny-- we got some pretty weird looks.

and we were so light and so fresh and so free.
we covered in eleven minutes what I'd normally take twenty minutes to cover; ran through Holland Village laughing and then laughing some more at the queer glances that came our way; ran out of Holland Village and away from the golden lights and the golden hair and the golden people
(but I swear the lights, they followed us)
hit the road
and kept running.

swooping downhill with arms outstretched screaming, "I'm free!"
we eventually got to where we wanted to go,
jumping up and down on the rickety bridge like a trampoline and sitting on seesaws and laughing and climbing to the top of the monkey bars and sitting there looking up at the stars through the trees.

"make a wish!"
and I hope mine comes true; and I sincerely hope (with all my heart) that mine comes through.

words and walls and reading love by torchlight.
everything is pure, everything is perfect; we could stay here forever and ever and ever.

"I feel so infinite."

lying in the twilight talking about the things we've loved and lost and left,
the things we've loved and lost and left;
not daring to close our eyes in case this all goes away.
one of the best things in the world is realizing that you can remember without pain.
realizing that you're not sorry things happened the way they did,
not sorry how things twisted and turned like they did,
not sorry that now there is nothing to save.
...and one of the best things in the world is sifting back on the old memories and without pain they become beautiful; without pain you can look back and laugh and fall even more in love with the new road you have undertaken.

"tonight is a night of magic and memory.
I can feel it in the air and in my bones.
tonight is a night of magic and memory."

dancing under the lamplight and around the lamppost singing "once upon a december"
so breathless we can barely keep in tune;
waltzing with imaginary princes and talking to the fairies and in that moment, we felt surreal enough and strong enough to fly;
everything began taking on a dreamlike quality- lift your hands and pray to fly through the trees and over the sleeping city.

bright faces, brighter eyes, and the brightest of dreams.
"Right now, more than anything-- I wish that I could fly."

and maybe we did
but our feet never left the ground.


...sweet, sweet girl-- you have made my night so lovely.
we believe in losing to gain; and what you let me gain today is far more beautiful and far more lasting than anything a medal could ever hope to be.


running back home over the city skyline singing "I am beautiful because I am alive!"
precious, precious; catch the lamplight and shake it in a bottle
remember tonight because we will never be the same again.

and now you open your slumberkissed eyes and see that the world is far lovelier, far more beautiful, and far more infinite than you have given it credit for.





we are beautiful because we are alive.
we are beautiful because we are alive.
we are beautiful because we are alive.