Saturday, October 18, 2008
hello, old friend.
7:40 AM
foreword from cara:
i know you're hurting.
but please stay strong
this is for you.
-----
people have learnt not to bleed in the daylight
because nobody wants a dirty sidewalk
but the night makes people reckless and our tongues get loosened by alcohol and the ache that strikes at midday starts pulling our rat-trap ribcages apart like old stitches
veins, check; heart, check; pain, check check check
call into the crevice and hear your lover’s voice echoing “hello, hello, hello…”
you can’t hold yourself responsible for what you do at midnight, baby
nobody smiles when it gets dark because nobody can see anyway
and your eyes tell such terrible stories when you’re alone
your eyes tell such terrible stories when you’re alone
trembling fingers t-t-thumb through your phonebook
sailing over names of fair-weather friends because there are continents between you
and your pride would have sunk Caesar’s ships.
you think you’re alone but the city’s ablaze with lights tonight
but you’re not outside to see it
lonely people lick old wounds by windows plastered with halves of old polaroids
if we shared our band-aids around I’m sure we could heal just about everyone.
dive under the blankets for comfort
whisper old loved words to yourself and pretend your voice is warmer, deep, richer
just a little more broken, maybe, and filled with so much more sadness
like honey-thick caramel coffee on a rainy Monday morning
your memories are holding you.
close your eyes your lids are thick with tears
they’re thick with black lashes thick with Sunday’s sadness
heavy enough for a dark dreamless sleep and your searching fingers carve the outline of where he used to lie tangled in the bedclothes next to you
your lips curl around his name in the middle of the night but I’m awake still and what a lonely sound you’re making sweetie
sit up till 4am stroking your hair and oh how lost you sound in your slumber
your eyes fly open and one: they illuminate and for a moment the room smiles
then two: you see my face and yours falls and you,
you are tired of being strong
you roll over in the bedsheets and cry strange animal noises
hiccup yourself to sleep now
you’ve done this for a week now.