{ and we'll play summer on repeat;

♥ precious.

la bella vita;

Cara

loves: black and white photography. poetry. vintage stores. thunderstorms. good ambience. fairytales. disneyworld. black kohl and fuschia lipstick. red and purple skittles. turquoise beads. icing but not cakes. might-have-beens. the dandy warhols. within temptation. automatic loveletter. mediaeval baebes. troy. interview with a vampire. the oc. making 11:11 wishes. purple glitter. mermaids. my-little-ponies. magic.

expertise: melodramaticks. eyeliner. laughing. goodbyes. hanging in there.

♥ music on, world off.

shh.

♥ scream(?).

live.

♥ past .

instant time travel

December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010

♥ adieu .

set them free

AMANDA
ANDRE
ASH
DEB
ELEMM
07IP04!
08IP04!
JOSH
KAT
LISA
QIU
RENJEAN

♥ credits .

thankyouverymuch

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Friday, October 10, 2008

hello, old friend. 8:01 PM

we're crashing cars we used to share,
we're summer girls with summer hair
we're driving round, chasing the stars
but the party's busted up before it ever starts.
------

our hotel venture was the shizznit.
partners in crime: rj, qiu, serene, gwen, janice.

we checked into Orchard Hotel and then went out and did our Desperate Housewives/Sex And The City walk down Orchard Road, arms linked and hips k-k-keeping rhythm and everything. Attracted stares. Was tempted to blast "When I Grow Up" from RJ's ipod speakers to go with our screw-you walk down the Paragon stretch but decided that that would be a little OTT.

dinner was awesome mmm sashimi and icecream and chocolate truffles.
RJ is a champion marathon buffet eater, I swear. By the time we hit 7pm, all of us were slouched on the table with the "omgawwwwsh" faces and she was still going strong and we had to wait another hour before she was finally satisfied with her 1239872329th plate.

rj on her gazillionth plate.

i have no idea what gwen is doing. ask her yourself.

if we were the desperate housewives,
gwen = bree
qiu = susan
serene = lynette
janice = evil new neighbour lady >:(
rj = the...gardener. whut you don't look anything like jesse metcalfe hello.
cara = gaby. (sidenote: why do I always end up being gaby? not that i'm complaining or anything cuz after all, gaby's sizzlin' hot and everything but still. i mean- the whole sex-with-the-gardener thing. couldn't she find anyone better than the househelp?)

okay, so digressing.
back to the hotel.
some things must be kept sekrit and some things must never be revealed but it started off innocently enough, with us playing an awesome 3 rounds of M.A.S.H. and then playing truth or truth and "i have never"- or, in tipsy Janice's words- "never have i ever".

then things started getting wonky- qiu started lolling around and i couldn't stop laughing and rj was rocking back and forth on the bed and serene looked like a cherry lollipop.

danced/rolled/rocked around to music until the manager came up to tell us to "please hush, the people downstairs're complaining".

"all my stripper friends
all my ex boyfriends
we all want the same thing, we all want the same thing
parties in the bar, reaching for the stars,
we all want the same thinggggg"

we all love tila tequila.

...catfight!

then came the darkness.
which brought me back down to earth a little because up till then, i'd never really seen the darker side of _____
and for one moment, for one awful moment
i realized that i could have lost a friend
and i'm sorry,
i hope you still know that i'd never do anything to hurt you and i do love you v v much.

but then ryan stopped by with sarah, which kind of made it worse but made me feel better.
it's nice to be greeted with a big hug and a "hey, biatch!" aww ily too.
toyed with the idea of going to Sahara with him to dance off the dinner calories but decided I was probably better off staying with the girls.
so he came up to our room,
and refused to do the (kinkified, Ryan-style) Disturbia dance alone so I ended up doing it by myself and looking like a right idiot,
and then he started telling creepy hwa chong international ghost stories and then in the middle of one riiight at the climax he GRABBED my hand like THIS(!) and I was all "ZMG AHHH".
stupid ho. >:(

he stayed till about 1am and then i escorted him down to the lobby to wait for Vehn to pick the princess up in his porsche, and Ryan was telling me stupid stories all the way down, even in the lift, like how you should always cross your arms and never let them hang by your side in the lift cuz you might feel someone grabbing it and it was stupid but I got freaked out okay and then on the way back up again I made sure to cross my arms and not let them hang.
...not that i was scared or anything, y'know, but just in case.

so i went back up into the room and bolted/unbolted/rebolted the hotel door like nine times consecutively, stupid OCD thing, but i was paranoid, okay? and then we all lay in bed and attempted to carry out a conversation but the intervals between the dialogues got progressively longer and longer and the answers came out sounding more and more sedated each time so eventually i gave up and let sleep take me.

...that's not mine.
mine's nicer.

looking back in ten years time
we'll probably think what we did last night was silly and childish and juvenile
but the truth of the matter is that we're only going to be sixteen once and we intend to live like it
because we all only breathe for so long and we only get this moment, this one chance, this here, this now,
and although sometimes it scares me how i seem to be losing my grip on myself
and although the everpresent dialogues "you're different", "you've changed", "don't hurt yourself", "be safe", "you're scaring us" hang in the balance
don't judge me because like all of you
i am not immortal but i live like i am
and it's a beautiful thing but it terrifies me sometimes.

so here's to living like we do,
la vida sixteen,
la vida desperation,
we will never have this moment again.