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♥ precious.
la bella vita;

Cara

loves: black and white photography. poetry. vintage stores. thunderstorms. good ambience. fairytales. disneyworld. black kohl and fuschia lipstick. red and purple skittles. turquoise beads. icing but not cakes. might-have-beens. the dandy warhols. within temptation. automatic loveletter. mediaeval baebes. troy. interview with a vampire. the oc. making 11:11 wishes. purple glitter. mermaids. my-little-ponies. magic.

expertise: melodramaticks. eyeliner. laughing. goodbyes. hanging in there.

♥ music on, world off.
shh.

soundtrack to life.

♥ scream(?).
live.

♥ past .
instant time travel

December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010

♥ adieu .
set them free

AMANDA
ANDRE
ASH
DEB
ELEMM
07IP04!
08IP04!
JOSH
KAT
LISA
QIU
RENJEAN


♥ credits .
thankyouverymuch

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Monday, November 24, 2008
hello, old friend. 10:17 PM

Oh, oh, oh.
I always feel a little guilty about one thing or another
and I swear it ain't because of you.
----

 the other day
I was walking along Orchard and I passed this little group of not-so-little, rowdy American guys and when I walked past, one of them leant over and yelled something that was either, "SUH-WEET!" or "FUH-REAK!"

like hello people, enunciate please?! um my self esteem is at stake here kthx. (okay not really but yeah.)

I did an entire inventory of myself after that and I'm pretty sure I looked pretty human- all the appropriate articles of clothing I should be wearing, I WAS wearing, and I was wearing shoes unlike that time I had to traipse around Holland V barefooted like some lost gypsy girl because Maxy's heels were too high; and my eyeliner wasn't drag queeny and it's not like I had two heads or anything- so they couldn't have been calling me a freak;
but then again, randomly yelling "suhweet!" to some random girl on the streets isn't exactly what people normally do either, so
oh, idk.

maybe I misheard and they weren't actually saying "SUH-WEET!" OR "FUH-REAK".
maybe they were saying "TWWWEET" or something. whatever.

moral of the story: EE-NUN-SEE-ATE.


anyway.
today I have been reading Nick And Norah's Infinite Playlist.
If there's one thing that it's taught me, it's to be more reckless in life.

Cass squawked really loudly when I told her.
"...You? More reckless? More reckless?! ...Hello, any more reckless and you'll put the WRECK in reckless."
"Wreckless...that's a good thing, right?"
"oh yeah damn"

But honestly speaking, right now I feel so tame I can barely stand it.
I wish I could shake off this body and the expectations and the walls of this house and flip a switch and hit the streets running with the soundtrack of my life shaking the stereos of all the pretty green-glassed mowed-lawn 2.2.children-ed houses in this suburban neighbourhood.

Right now I'm at a point in my life where I couldn't care less when it comes to matters of the heart/or do I, and am I trying to guard it too closely?/I don't know, I don't know.
but as it is

"this may not last forever
but this is now
so love the one you're with"

and yes, I know that the feeling's dangerous.
but it's also swelling with a whole other world of infinite, beautiful, terrible, exquisite, devastating possibilities
and I'm okay with taking a gamble,
so c'mon Life; deal me a wild card.