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♥ precious.
la bella vita;

Cara

loves: black and white photography. poetry. vintage stores. thunderstorms. good ambience. fairytales. disneyworld. black kohl and fuschia lipstick. red and purple skittles. turquoise beads. icing but not cakes. might-have-beens. the dandy warhols. within temptation. automatic loveletter. mediaeval baebes. troy. interview with a vampire. the oc. making 11:11 wishes. purple glitter. mermaids. my-little-ponies. magic.

expertise: melodramaticks. eyeliner. laughing. goodbyes. hanging in there.

♥ music on, world off.
shh.

soundtrack to life.

♥ scream(?).
live.

♥ past .
instant time travel

December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010

♥ adieu .
set them free

AMANDA
ANDRE
ASH
DEB
ELEMM
07IP04!
08IP04!
JOSH
KAT
LISA
QIU
RENJEAN


♥ credits .
thankyouverymuch

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Wednesday, January 21, 2009
hello, old friend. 7:47 PM

and in your name; there is healing
----

the following
is a random doodle Kat and I came up with yesterday, because we were bored during a free period and decided to write something three words by three words each. it's a weird little incoherent little story but there's something about some parts of it that i like. here we go.

----
Once there was a girl with long brown hair. She liked to watch planes from her balcony in a Paris apartment and eat ice-cream off her boyfriend's nose. Her boyfriend, though, never seemed to care about the way she sang out of the window when people walked by. When night fell, they'd walk to the local brothel and rate all the legs they were served.
Tragically, she only sparkled after getting drunk.
Sometimes he'd desperately pull her hair to get to the bear behind her jeans zipper. They never tried catching glitter in the dreams they ate by the vague brown coatstands. They went by the mortuary and danced to mysterious squeaking noises coming from the squirrel that hadn't been near the toaster.

"you know, sometimes I blow into lonely strangers' pinwheels. Are you thinking I'm crazy?"

"Not as crazy as the time you ate some boy's Mercedes because he told you your eyes were hollow."

"...are they hollow?"

he didn't reply.
Instead, he kissed her withered lashes and promised he'd die before her. She frowned and pulled away.

"why did you wave to the other bicycle rider last night? she wasn't even as pretty as your first pet dog, Sasha."

"don't you dare call my sister lethal. I swear that if that police car crashes into her, my final wish won't be for you."
his lips twisted into a smile.

her arms snaked around his neck.
"...liar."

teeth flashed.
---

on another note,
sexy, superb, scintillating (???) seventeen in two days.
I'm not going to lie. Seventeen's a lot different from sixteen, and I'm not talking about the one year difference.

if sixteen was, like, BABOOM!!!
then seventeen's, like... fizzle.

and that's the depressing reality of it.
of course you have bands like Metro Station trying to make people feel better by coming up with songs like "Seventeen Forever" but the truth is I don't even feel (almost) a year older.
Seventeen feels like slipping through the gaps.

Oh well.
Seventeen it is, then!
and come what may.

if I can just get through what today has in store (ominous music goes here) and get to tomorrow,
I'll be safe.
At least for about a few more days until hell hits again.

"oh don't worry you'll be fine, just give your best."
people say it like it's the easiest of things, like it's supposed to be a reassurance;
but has anyone actually really stopped to think about it and realize how terrifying a concept "giving your best" can actually be?
= infinite pain, people. until your threshold breaks.
i'm not sure about you, but that unnerves me sometimes.

oh well.
clarification: not emo! ...just rambling.
once i learn to live one day at a time everything'll fall into place and maybe 2009'll end up being the fantastic year for Aquarians that Cosmogirl, Glamour, Sugar, etc etc claim it'll be.



ALL SYSTEMS GO YEAH YEAH YEAH.




"I know what you are learning to endure.
There is nothing to be done. Just make sure nothing is wasted.
Take notes. Remember it all, every insult, every tear.
Tattoo it on the inside of your mind.
In life, knowledge of poisons is essential.
I've told you, nobody becomes an artist unless they have to."