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♥ precious.
la bella vita;

Cara

loves: black and white photography. poetry. vintage stores. thunderstorms. good ambience. fairytales. disneyworld. black kohl and fuschia lipstick. red and purple skittles. turquoise beads. icing but not cakes. might-have-beens. the dandy warhols. within temptation. automatic loveletter. mediaeval baebes. troy. interview with a vampire. the oc. making 11:11 wishes. purple glitter. mermaids. my-little-ponies. magic.

expertise: melodramaticks. eyeliner. laughing. goodbyes. hanging in there.

♥ music on, world off.
shh.

soundtrack to life.

♥ scream(?).
live.

♥ past .
instant time travel

December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010

♥ adieu .
set them free

AMANDA
ANDRE
ASH
DEB
ELEMM
07IP04!
08IP04!
JOSH
KAT
LISA
QIU
RENJEAN


♥ credits .
thankyouverymuch

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Tuesday, January 13, 2009
hello, old friend. 6:58 AM



BECAUSE I'M STILL BREATHING


Hello world
I know you're reading this
even if you never ever leave any tags anyway.

Today started off terribly.
Believe me when I say: I hate tectonic plates.
3.17PM rolled around and then I realized that it was actually possible to hate tectonic plates more than I actually had a few hours ago.

Downed cold black coffee and went for training with Mayday Parade blasting through the earphones and in a disgustingly moody mood.
(honestly sometimes I do think that if I met myself on the street one day, I probably would have no patience with myself at all)

At that moment all I wanted to do was dig a hole and crawl in and pull the darkness in behind me. NOT run a timetrial and have to die and die and die over and over and over again on the track. I may love running but I hate racing against the clock. And the awful day hadn't changed my opinion, either.

As it was, our workout was 16X200m. Was a little apprehensive at first because it was a speed workout and c'mon 'fess up we all know I'm no Usain Bolt. I'm more of a "hang in there and keep going" kinduv person and yes that's much less on the Kool Factor but hey who gives a damn, honestly.

But.
Training actually (surprisingly!) turned out well.
Actually, to hell with "well"-- I loved it.
So I'm not a born sprinter and neither am I some fast-runnin' lightning-strikin' baseball-playin' run-through-a-forest,-catch-a-baseball-in-midair-and-make-it-back-in-under-a-second vampire, but
there was something to be said about just cruising down the track. letting the wind carry you. feeling your muscles slide. lengthen. pump. push off against the pavement;
there was something undeniably beautiful about that feeling.

i guess there'll be some days when I feel like absolute crud and some days when I'll remember just what it is that I love about being a tracker.
Today was one of the latter, and I'm so glad.
God knows I needed it.
I really did.

so yeah.
I think things're getting better.
and they'll keep doing exactly that.
I've got some of the old fire to fall back upon and Mr Whitby as a Lit teacher and I will get my Blackberry fixed and I will not bomb my race
and I will learn to leave yesterdays in their photoframes
and yeah I might/I probably will/oh who'm I kidding I definitely WILL get sad sometimes but I'm going to hang in there. hang in there. hang in there. because that's what I do
and keep moving forward because there's gotta be more than this.
things will get better.
they've got to.






"she wasn't bitter.
she was sad though,but it was a hopeful kind of sad.
the kind of sad that just takes time."
- the perks of being a wallflower