Wednesday, April 22, 2009
hello, old friend.
2:18 AM
party in the boom boom room;
Today was an improvement.
TGIF --> Thank God I've Friends.
Spent lunch with the Rich Rich Bitches + Leonard + Carol, in their outcry against the screening of Wuthering Heights we had watched and how the Heathcliff they'd cast looked more like a Latin American pervert than the moody, brooding, shrouded-in-intrigue type character he was supposed to be.
And then I don't really know when (it was probably Amrit) but the conversation shifted to the topic of the Romanov family/tzars/tzarinas, and then Carol alarmed us all with the random trivia about Rasputin and his...measure of a man.
Yeah, I know. Arts students. Aiyoh. All de same wan.
(Disclaimer: Discontinue perusal of this entry if you are a) a prude or b) celibate or c) if you're allergic to talking about parts of the human anatomy
And no, we don't talk like this all the time.
Twas all in good fun.)
Cara: ...30cm? 30cm?!?! :O :O But that's, like! ...TWO 15-cm rulers!!!!
Lisa: *looks unimpressed by this display of mathematical prowess* ...Um. Yes, Cara.
Amrit: So you mean after they killed Rasputin, they preserved It and put It in a museum?!
OMG. Where?!
Carol: Russia, I think.
Amrit: OMG.
Moscow, here we come!!
Amrit (...yeah, are you starting to notice a certain trend here..?): Let's go to the computer lab and do a google search for where they exhibited Rasputin's willy!
Lisa: *crosses herself, breathes a soft prayer, clicks rosary beads* ...Amrit!
Amrit: They've probably censored the site anyway, with the security filters. Like they do the rest. "Site Prohibited: Nudity/Pornography/Freedom"
Lisa: Yeah. Like. "Site Prohibited: Nudity/Pornography/Rasputin's willy"
Leonard: ...It was probably too big to go through the filter anyway.
All: ... :O LEONARD.
Then today during CIP, Wei Quan revealed a shocking revelation of just how popular he was back in SJI...
Wei Quan: So last time right, when I was back in SJI; I had three friends--
How Divij and I laughed.
[/edit]
OMG OMG OMG CARAAAAAAAA.
Okay so in a bid to help me remember all the memorable quotes from today, as I usually do, I keyed in the whole Rasputin+30cm willy conversation as talked about earlier into my Blackberry as a text message.
Only, after typing everything out, I didn't save it.
I sent it. By accident.
To "Joe Rolleston- mobile"
...WHY DO THESE THINGS HAPPEN TO ME AND ONLY ME. I SWEAR.
So I desperately scrabbled around with the text message a bit, trying frantically to UN-send it and retract it from where it was presumably drifting about in phone outerspace or something.
...I didn't manage to salvage it.
What I DID manage to do, however, was...send it again- this time to "Joe Rolleston- Home"
And I'm like ":O ...Hoooooly motherflower!"
Because now his mum's going to pick up the home phone and hear (oh, God) the VOICE AUTOMATED RELAYING of the very odd, very risque, HIGHLY QUESTIONABLE conversation about Rasputin's manhood and the places in which it has been exhibited, and the first thing she will think is "...what kind of girl is this Cara, that Joe has been consorting with?!", followed closely by "...Ooh. These Asians. All the same. They go around not wearing clothes and not speaking English and then go back home to their swamp villages after harvesting their noodle crops, and then have sex all day in their treehouses. How appalling. I think I should go put on some tea now."
...I kid. Joe's mum is actually a lovely, lovely lady and despite Joe's claims to her Inherent Evilness, I actually genuinely love her.
But digressing.
So yeah.
OF ALL KINDS OF TEXT MESSAGES TO ACCIDENTALLY SEND OFF TO SOMEONE.
&& OF ALL PEOPLE TO ACCIDENTALLY SEND TEXT MESSAGES LIKE THAT TO.
Somebody kill me now. I will never be able to look a Briton in the eye again.
...Things like this only happen in the movies! Like Anne Hathaway getting orange-ified in Bride Wars. Or Lindsay Lohan getting creamed in Mean Girls. Or Janet Jackson having a wardrobe malfunction on the red carpet.
...See? Only in movies do these things happen. These things do not/should not happen to normal, mundane, everyday people like me.
...Unless, of course- I'm in a movie.
...Omg.
Maybe I am.
Maybe all this has just been a farce. Maybe my house is just a set and the moon is a stagelight and my sister is a hobbit extra who was left onset from the filming of the last Lord of the Rings movie.
Maybe even Joe's not real!!
Maybe he was just an actor they cast to, you know, play my pseudo-shove interest. Kinda like that British actor guy from the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2, you know.
...Maybe... this ISSSSS The Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants 2.
Omg.
Yessssss.
Why did I not see it all along?!
Lisa is actually Alexis Bledel, Amrit is actually that Tibby-girl-actress, and Leonard is actually Blake Lively in disguise and really bad makeup.
Yes.
That's it.
This is the Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants 2, and Joe is that British dude who...is well read....and an actor...and who Carmen meets. At a summer camp. In a performance course.
This is all starting to sound very familiar.
Oh damn.
...You all know what this means.
This is not real life. This is not Cara's life. This is not Another Sad Wednesday In The Life of An Overworked Singapore Student.
This. is actually the movie The Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants 2.
Which would neccessarily make me the character Carmen.
...Which would neccessarily...make me America Ferrera.
:O
Ohhh, flower.
NUUUUUUUUUUU--
