Sunday, April 19, 2009
hello, old friend.
7:14 AM

(warning: incoherency ahead)
"i don't know how i feel any more"
Not sad, just hollow.
My day has passed in a blur of unwise 5kms and bottoms of plates and me wishing i could have it in handwriting too..., and econs and pi and more econs and "you haven't taken your pills why haven't you taken your pills" and
ASOIUAS)(*W)E(Q>A:LDKALJADSr0w38.
Lisa, your latest post puts a lump in my throat and I don't know why.
maybe I should let Friday spell backlit catastrophe.
...but even mayhem takes so much effort to plan. and I'm tired. so tired.
all I want to do is pull the covers over my head and sleep away the cymbalic words like whitehot calf brands on skin the tentative whisperings to dark air that made me realize that no, i don't and i am so sorry..., the ocean behind my eyes the smoke signals that turn to confused laughter when friends come round
the fraying rope
the gravity.
give me a few days and I should snap out of this--
yes; I am aware of the fact that I am unattractively sliding around in indulgent self-pity. I landed myself in there, thanks.
Cass calls it my "Sylvia Plath complex".
I call it
stupid.
please, somebody.
screw this, Cara- fight back.