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Cara

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Thursday, June 4, 2009

hello, old friend. 8:27 AM

"...and nuke is the new colour of the season"

2nd day of the ASEAN DHS Summit:

...was a little less lustrous than the first, but still fun.

Mingled a little more with the rest of the Social Development Council today. Talked to Brunei girl (we had waffles together for lunch) and realized that we're both actually pretty nice people but we each thought the other was incredibly intimidating; which would explain why we both spent the whole of the committee session yesterday just eyeballing each other from across the tables.

I also...apparently intimidated people when I first walked into the room.

D: WHY.

I am a nice person.

I like My Little Ponies.

...So what if I have nuclear bombs and the capacity to obliterate most of the Western hemisphere?

I swear; it's the formal white shirt- it does things for you.

Crisis session started off as an absolute BORE-

because the crisis at hand was that of a rice virus affecting crops in India Thailand Vietnam; and of course, as North Korea, being the self sufficient (read: isolated, protectionist) state that we are, are not affected in the least.

So for the few few hours or so, we basically lounged around in our seats while the rest of the other country's delegations swarmed to the front of the lecture theater and started aggressive looking conversation with each other.

...Yeaah.

While the rest of the world debates over the Asian rice crisis; North Korea plays scissors paper stone.

After a while, the waiting around and doing nothing started getting to our heads, I swear, braindeadness.

Jeremy: So is there really nothing North Korea can do?!
Xue Min: Nope.

Jeremy: ...WTF?!

Faris: *turns to Nush* *earnestly*...What does WTF stand for? Which organization?

...HAHA. Poor Faris.

He claims that all the politicky names (WHO, UNICEF, ASEAN, TAC etc) had totally confuzzled him so it wasn't his fault.

It started getting interesting, though, when we- the delegation of North Korea- decided it was time we stopped lounging around and took a stand instead.

"...the Democratic Party of the Republic of Korea demands an apology from the United States of America

...if not WE WILL BOMB YOU"

...Oh yeah. Works every time, that one.

Later on, being the rogue state that we are-- we decided to form an alliance of ASEAN member states to oppose the resolution being passed, because all the sponsors (save Singapore) were Western Powers and where's the ASEAN interest in that? We've escaped one age of colonialism- let's not enter into another one of neo-imperialism.

So yeah. We joined forces with South Korea- historical moment; applause please- and formed the new UK: the United Korea. Cuz we're cool like that.

And then we started writing and passing notes of persuasion to other ASEAN states- mainly, Cambodia China Brunei Laos Indonesia Malaysia- to join our newly forged alliance against the Western Powers and subsequent lack of ASEAN representation.

'Dear *insert ASEAN member state here*,

Implementation of the resolution proposed will send us teetering on the brink of a new age of Western imperialism; this time far subtler, and thus far more alarming.

We urge you to closely examine the list of sponsors. Save for one, the list is dominated by Western powers which are not a part of ASEAN itself. These countries do not have the knowledge nor experience to handle the delicate situation of a crisis in countries of circumstances vastly different than that of their own. We then question- will a resolution drafted and driven by these Western powers truly reflect and protect the real needs and interests of ASEAN?

It may be argued that ASEAN member states should accede to this resolution, in order to benefit from the subsequent aid provided by the Western powers. However, US and Russia- the main beneficiaries- have already established explicitly that they will not be providing struggling countries with any form of financial aid. Where then is the incentive for voting 'yes' to this resolution?

Human aid? Personnel for research into this pressing crisis? ...ASEAN states ALREADY HAVE THIS EXISTING CAPACITY. Hell- the Western Powers SOURCE their foreign talent from us.

We implore you, therefore, to rally yourself with the alliance of North and South Korea, in voting 'no' against the proposed resolution. By asserting our voice as a united ASEAN alliance body, we can continue to work together in pursuing the materialization of true ASEAN interests.

- North Korea"

Indonesia's response: "...Long live Kim Jong Il!!"

Laos' response: "Whoever wrote this note- you have pretty handwriting. Free this Sunday?"

...to which I grabbed a pen and scribbled back in response:

"...the back of the North Korean Embassy. 7PM. Be there."

Ohh yeah.

Gotta love diplomatic alliances.

And now- off to read about sanctions, and the ASEAN Council Resolutions, and to persuade a certain British Lieutenant that yes, ASEAN states >>> UK.

NOTHING can come against the new US UK --> Uncooperative States of United Koreas.

All hail our Great Leader.