
"...This is superficial.
But it's just- we want to escape.
In our heads; we're already gone."
- Lisa
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diary excerpt #137:
It's a little bit funny and a little bit sad that under different borders, in a different time, in different clothes- maybe; maybe...we could have all been rockstars and movie gods and youth-quaking beatnik children.
In this parallel, unfettered universe,
We'd live forever in candid black and white photographs scattered around the musty linoleum of our Lower East Side, industrial bohemian-type apartment that we'd barely manage to cough up the rent for every month.
We'd live on Campbell's and black coffee and strawberry jello and words and too little sleep because we'd be up all night, every night, talking about the great glorious beckoning thing that is the Future. A Future not defined by social conventions or familial expectations or the cold concrete hand of a cold concrete city. A Future that would be uncertain and flickering and probably one hell of a ride-- but it'd be beautiful because that uncertain, wavering nightmare would be ours.
We'd celebrate every holiday on the calendar.
We'd hang from the parapets dangling handtowels at passersby screaming "WE ARE JACK'S BROKEN HEART"
We'd sleep in the bathtubs and cook five course microwave dinners in the bedrooms.
We'd sketch miniature Antarcticas on the window panes and doodle faces on all the light sockets and not one inch of wall would be bare because they'd be completely covered, completely filled with poetry.
...We'd be poor and lost and catastrophic and deeply in debt and burning out by the second---
but we'd be alive. Well and truly alive.
...and in the end; that's all that really counts, isn't it?