asian pride!
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You know you're Asian when...
-You get a B+ and you are categorized as a failure
-You get a C and are kicked out of your living quarters
-You are continually reminded of the possibility of working at Mickey D's and mowing lawns
-You have a little dangly pooh or other adorable little character, pokemon, hello kitty, transformers included
-You can hear your last name when you throw a pot down the stairs
*ching, chang, chong, etc.
-You know what the real Yellow Fever is and while it doesnt kill people - well, maybe it does kill some people inside.
- The Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopii) was last night's dinner
-Your first word when you were a baby was "Stanford", "Harvard", "Yale", "Princeton", or even "Ivy League"
- Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In Korea (or other native country), we studied even more."
- Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian
- An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother?" Well then, "Is it your sister?"
- Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e. Michael Chan)
-Taking 8 AP's out of 7 is still probably considered slacking
-You have off-color printed screen tees from an Asian country with bad spelling
-Half your house is a library - filled to the brim with large books that frequently only have 3-letter words on them such as SAT, ACT, and AP'S
-You understand that chopsticks are NOT for chopping although specializing them does result in weaponry. Seriously.
-Your parents cannot grasp their minds around the fact that there is more than one way to a successful life than a super "high ranked" college.
-You can draw crowds playing DDR at arcades or the movies
-You know what "old asian lady" smells like
-You've seen Mulan at least 2 times
-You know Jackie Chan's, Bruce Lee's, and Jet Li's Chinese name
-You've never heard of clothing that wasn't on sale.
-Your parents always remind to you to eat some sort of food by which consumption you either 1. become smarter 2. become skinnier 3. grow taller 4. have good complexion, etc
-You feel the need of taking off your shoes when entering an abode
-You go straight home to study after a test
-You ask your dad for help on a simple math problem and spend the next 2 hours listening to a math lecture
-You call all adult women "aunts" and all adult men "uncles"
-Your family takes a million pictures everywhere you go
-You don't understand the concept of knives and forks, only chopsticks
-You play the violin and the piano
-You've made honor roll for all your life
-You wash and reuse ziplock bags.
-You know at least three people named Alan Wong.
-Everyone assumes you're Chinese, no matter what your actual Asian heritage is.
-Your family buys rice by the ton
-While your friends are crying about I Love New York or Tila Tequila, you are uncontrollably sobbing about a Korean drama
-You automatically make the peace sign when someone looks at you with their camera
-People assume you know martial arts
-You wonder why there even is Yellow Fever to begin with and how no other ethnicity seems to be associated with a similar issue
-You start rolling in red envelope dough on New Years
-You take prodigious napkins from restaurants and ketchup packs from McDonalds or any other fast food joint
-You tend to look up a lot.
-You go skiing and to get ticket prices like 50% off, your parents say you're 12 when you're really 15.
-You tell jokes like: How do you know when an Asian's robbed your house? Your homework's done, the computer's upgraded, your noodles are gone, and the guy is still in the driveway trying to back out of your car.
- Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going
- Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come.
- At least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say ... "
-When you expose yourself to the sun and vitamin D, you turn into a different race
-When you were small, your maternal or paternal unit would put a bowl on your head, cut around and wala! a haircut
-Your parents think that the entire job industry is made up of doctors, lawyers, or engineers
-"You want a stereo!? !When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"
-Overfishing isn't depleting our oceans of fish, you are.
-You could probably bathe in soy sauce.
"maybe one day I'll get smart and learn from my mistakes"
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Damn. Blogger. Interface.
Tonight. will be study night (or so I try to convince myself). I've got a box of O's in front of me and I'm picking out the ones that're stuck together cuz I only eat those. My Mum's always complaining that I'll drive my husband up the wall because he won't be able to afford to feed me cuz I'm too picky an eater; but I say I'll forge my own living, thanks, and I'll put my bread and my own stuck-together-O's on the table before I become anyone's charity case.
So Monday's started out pretty okay.
Dr Lim wants Lisa and I to enter the UNIFEM 2009 essay writing competition. The theme for this year? ..."A New Land; A New Life."
Hmm. That shouldn't be too hard to do...
Study seshed with the DWLs today. We will make good yet!! Amrit and I plugged into my iPod and listened to Tom Jones, Frank Sinatra, and Peggy Lee until my battery ran out. There's just SOMETHING about songs from the I Love Lucy Era. I swear- you can't not be happy while listening to them. Even if we've got grey instead of glitz, and Mathematics instead of Monroe.
So yeah.
Things aren't so bad.
We'll be okay.
...Dreams do come true!!
(ask me again on Friday.)
Lately, though, I've been feeling a little disillusioned. I know Lisa goes through cycles like that, too.
Maybe it's a Lit Kid thing. Maybe we overanalyze and nonchalant-isize and get caught up and then pull away far too easily. Leave them either completely oblivious or struggling to understand.
Because we're paradoxes like that.
..Sometimes I get so tired trying to keep up with me.
Joe and I were googling Chinese subtitles/roadsigns gone wrong, last night. To quote him- how can one race be so hilarious?! Screw British humour; Asian humour's where it's at...and we don't even realize we're being funny.
"Fatty, your thick face is hurting my instep."
"Normal people don't steal pituitaries."
"I have more knive's wound than your leg's hair!"
"You always use violence. I should have ordered glutinous rice chicken."
God bless China's...original subtitling.
Which other nation could singlehandedly change the entire course of the Power Rangers storyline? (refer to below)
"Keep up with me, big black man, and we will go town to kick the motherf-cking lizard man with our karate feets!!"
...Ohh yeah. Asian; and proud to be.