incomplete diary excerpt #158:
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so.
back from summer.
hello world did you miss me or did you spin right past?
I can't yet find the words to say about Summer.
I wake up at odd hours like 2.17AM and 6.28AM to scribble snatches of words and pieces of incomplete half-poetical incoherency on old post-its
but the epiphany I've been waiting for isn't coming.
it was supposed to be one perfect, unbroken strain of lyricality
but it isn't coming.
the beginnings, the middles, the pseudo-endings of it lap behind my fingers like uncertain tides but nothing flows to paper.
That's okay, though.
It'll come.
I have faith in that much.
and now I'm praying for faith in this. in Us.
in this new/reckless/brave/brave/brave undertaking that will demand so much.
"defiance" you cry from over the ocean and I will raise the clarion call
I will find the courage to torch these bridges to build new ones over an angry pangaea
you will lift the flag and hoist the colours
we will battle on and break through walls and burn down the citadels they put up to keep us out
and if it comes to falling or the firmament we will blaze, love,
from Olympus they will raise their eyes to see the smoke
this our sacrifice we'll bring the old gods to their knees--