Laid my head on Daddy's lap and flopped over in the duvets and stared vacantly at nothing in particular.
Then at the back of the massage chair.
Then at the dull grey picture they painted me- a modern Van Gogh, post Ear Incident. Remember the time he ran out of colours and used rainwater instead? yeah that's the one.
Stared into it for the longest time but I couldn't find stars and I couldn't find Vincent.
I didn't hug the big bear
and my eyes stayed dry.
I'm getting good at this Being Seventeen business.
You/It/They will always make me trace little question marks in the margins of library books but I find consolation in the fact that once these days are over
I will be happy enough to make myself forget. Even just for a while.
Once these days are over
there will be magic. and chaos. and glitter. and madness. and exhilaration. and stories.
Once these days are over
I'll laugh and show you I mean it.