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♥ precious.
la bella vita;

Cara

loves: black and white photography. poetry. vintage stores. thunderstorms. good ambience. fairytales. disneyworld. black kohl and fuschia lipstick. red and purple skittles. turquoise beads. icing but not cakes. might-have-beens. the dandy warhols. within temptation. automatic loveletter. mediaeval baebes. troy. interview with a vampire. the oc. making 11:11 wishes. purple glitter. mermaids. my-little-ponies. magic.

expertise: melodramaticks. eyeliner. laughing. goodbyes. hanging in there.

♥ music on, world off.
shh.

soundtrack to life.

♥ scream(?).
live.

♥ past .
instant time travel

December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010

♥ adieu .
set them free

AMANDA
ANDRE
ASH
DEB
ELEMM
07IP04!
08IP04!
JOSH
KAT
LISA
QIU
RENJEAN


♥ credits .
thankyouverymuch

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Thursday, September 24, 2009
hello, old friend. 8:23 AM



Tonight I wandered into my parents' room like I used to do when I was five. 


Big problems; heavy problems; heart problems. Sometimes I hate the way I tend to rationalize
what happened to my bright-eyed idealism?


Laid my head on Daddy's lap and flopped over in the duvets and stared vacantly at nothing in particular. 
Then at the back of the massage chair. 
Then at the dull grey picture they painted me- a modern Van Gogh, post Ear Incident. Remember the time he ran out of colours and used rainwater instead? yeah that's the one.
Stared into it for the longest time but I couldn't find stars and I couldn't find Vincent. 
I didn't hug the big bear
and my eyes stayed dry.
I'm getting good at this Being Seventeen business.
You/It/They will always make me trace little question marks in the margins of library books but I find consolation in the fact that once these days are over
I will be happy enough to make myself forget. Even just for a while.
Once these days are over 
there will be magic. and chaos. and glitter. and madness. and exhilaration. and stories. 


Once these days are over
I'll laugh and show you I mean it.