"and so I go, into the great Perhaps"----
There are many kinds of love in the world.
And when you find that one is not for you; you learn to lean- gently, tentatively- on the others.
This love is good.
God has given me beautiful, beautiful friends. You know who you are- thank you, all of you, for your warmth and support and the tender hands you're using to hold me up.
Last night was horrible. I gave up the one thing I had tried to hold onto, and then and only then did they take me, crying softly shoulders shaking, into their bed.
I don't know whether to feel comforted or repulsed.
And yet with all the drifting loneliness, the sudden, occasional rushing of air from my ribcage and the currents behind empty lids
there is a sad, sweet sense of relief.
At least the way now is clear.
I would have fought every inch of the thorny road,
but at least now the way is clear, and that is a small mercy.
You can breathe again. I don't want you to hurt any more.
Who knows where we stand, in our Book of Days?
Maybe One Day. Maybe never. Maybe Neverland. Maybe Everland, maybe Evermore.
You and I know we loved.
And that is all that needs to be written.