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♥ precious.
la bella vita;

Cara

loves: black and white photography. poetry. vintage stores. thunderstorms. good ambience. fairytales. disneyworld. black kohl and fuschia lipstick. red and purple skittles. turquoise beads. icing but not cakes. might-have-beens. the dandy warhols. within temptation. automatic loveletter. mediaeval baebes. troy. interview with a vampire. the oc. making 11:11 wishes. purple glitter. mermaids. my-little-ponies. magic.

expertise: melodramaticks. eyeliner. laughing. goodbyes. hanging in there.

♥ music on, world off.
shh.

soundtrack to life.

♥ scream(?).
live.

♥ past .
instant time travel

December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010

♥ adieu .
set them free

AMANDA
ANDRE
ASH
DEB
ELEMM
07IP04!
08IP04!
JOSH
KAT
LISA
QIU
RENJEAN


♥ credits .
thankyouverymuch

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Wednesday, January 20, 2010
hello, old friend. 5:33 AM



I'm not used to the awkward silences.
The way his eyes grow cold around me, then sad, then cold again. 
I'm not used to not curling up on his pillow at night, and talking like a seven year old about my day. 
I'm not used to not being grumbled at for kissing his shoulder when we hug, just because it's just the right height for being kissed.
I'm not used to not being his favourite, even though he tries to hide it and pretend he doesn't play favourites.
I'm not used to swinging one languid thigh from my chair and glancing at him from the sides of my eyes, like what we're talking about doesn't hurt.

...But I've chosen where I stand.

And it's not his1 side, or his2 side. 

It's my side. And this stand is all the things I should have said a long time ago. 
Tantrums don't work, and screaming doesn't work. Noise is overrated, so I'm going to stand here in my metaphorical wheatfield and be silent and look up at the sky with quiet eyes. fall asleep with flowers in my hands. 


electric gingerheaded boy, last night: "...nothing lasts. and the truth of that devastates me."





on the plus side, i had purple icecream today. 
and my friends made me laugh. 
and yesterday i wrote a song about a mermaid and a man, and it was good.